How do real estate agents use Exactly What to Say™ to close more deals? Exactly What to Say™ by Phil M. Jones is a language framework that gives agents specific phrases to lower resistance, surface real objections, and guide clients to decisions without pressure. Agents who apply EWTS report fewer stalls, more appointments kept, and higher conversion rates across every stage of the transaction.
Research on sales psychology consistently shows that how you say something matters as much as what you say. Decades of behavioral meta-analyses show that while question framing strongly dictates consumer attitudes, it reliably drives a 10% to 20% shift in final behavioral outcomes, with specific price and loss-aversion frames yielding even higher variance depending on the product context. Same information, different language, different outcome.
For real estate agents, this isn't abstract. Every day you're in conversations where the words you choose determine whether a client moves forward or goes quiet. Whether a seller accepts a price reduction or digs in. Whether a buyer makes an offer or says "we want to think about it." The difference, more often than not, isn't your market knowledge. It's your language.
That's the premise behind Phil M. Jones's Exactly What to Say™ framework, and it's why I became an Exactly What to Say™ Certified Guide. In my 9 years coaching agents and mortgage professionals across Orange County and Los Angeles (10,000+ coaching hours in), I've watched language be the deciding factor in more transactions than any other single skill. As of 2026, EWTS remains one of the most practical, immediately applicable frameworks I teach at davidmanzer.com. This post breaks down why it works and how to start using it this week.
What the Data Says About Sales Language
The challenge with improving how agents communicate is that most training focuses on scripts: memorized lines to recite in specific situations. Scripts have a ceiling. They break down the moment a client says something unexpected, and clients can feel the mechanical quality of a scripted response.
EWTS takes a different approach. Rather than scripts, it teaches language patterns, specific types of phrases that work across a wide range of situations because they're built on how the human brain actually makes decisions. The framework is grounded in research on influence, cognitive bias, and conversational psychology.
Three of the most well-documented principles at work:
- Autonomy bias: people are more likely to comply when they feel they're choosing, not being pushed. EWTS phrases like "Would you be open to..." and "I'm not sure this is right for you, but..." are built on this principle.
- Specificity effect: vague requests produce vague responses. "Who do you know who might be thinking about making a move in the next few months?" produces real names. "If you know anyone looking..." produces nothing.
- Loss aversion framing: people respond more strongly to avoiding a loss than gaining an equivalent benefit. EWTS teaches agents to frame decisions in terms of what a client stands to miss, not just what they stand to gain.
These aren't tactics. They're documented patterns in human decision-making, and EWTS gives agents a practical way to apply them in everyday client conversations.
What EWTS Actually Sounds Like in Practice
The best way to understand the framework is to see it in direct comparison. Here are six common scenarios agents face daily, showing the default language versus the EWTS version:
| Scenario | What Most Agents Say | Exactly What to Say™ Version | Why It Works |
|---|---|---|---|
| Buyer hesitation | "What are your concerns?" | "On a scale of 1-10, how close are you to making a decision?" | Quantifies vague feelings. Makes the gap concrete and actionable. |
| Seller pricing pushback | "The comps support this price." | "Would you be open to pricing it where the buyers are already looking?" | "Would you be open to" removes resistance before it forms. |
| Overcoming "I need to think about it" | "Of course, take your time." | "Just out of curiosity, what is it that you need to think about?" | Surfaces the real objection without pressure. |
| Asking for a referral | "If you know anyone looking..." | "Who do you know who might be thinking about making a move in the next few months?" | Specific timeframe activates real names, not vague goodwill. |
| Commission objection | "My fee is standard." | "I'm sure you've looked at a lot of options. Can I show you what makes the difference?" | Acknowledges their process. Earns the right to present value. |
| Closing the appointment | "When would you like to meet?" | "Would Tuesday at 10 or Wednesday at 2 work better for you?" | Binary choice removes scheduling friction entirely. |
Table: Six common agent-client scenarios with default language vs. Exactly What to Say™ phrases and the psychology behind each.
Why Does This Work Better Than a Standard Script?
Scripts are transactional. They treat the conversation as a problem to solve: if the client says X, I say Y. The problem is that real conversations rarely follow that path. Clients say unexpected things. They ask questions you didn't prepare for. They go quiet when you expected enthusiasm.
EWTS phrases work differently because they're designed to open conversations, not close them prematurely. They're built around one core idea: the best salespeople don't convince people of things. They help people convince themselves.
"The goal isn't to get a yes. It's to help the client get to their own yes."
This connects directly to what I covered in reading clients using DISC. DISC tells you how a client communicates and processes information. EWTS gives you the language to meet them there. A C-style client who asks detailed questions needs a different phrase than an I-style client who's driven by vision and story. Once you can read the room with DISC and respond with EWTS language, your conversion rate changes.
Where Does EWTS Fit in the Sales Process?
Agents sometimes ask me whether EWTS applies to buyers, sellers, or prospecting. The answer is all three, at every stage. Here's how it maps across the most common situations:
| Situation Type | EWTS Principle at Work | Result |
|---|---|---|
| Client is stalling | "Just out of curiosity...": lowers resistance before asking | Real objection surfaces; agent can respond to what's actually happening |
| Seller won't reduce price | "Would you be open to...": positions agent as collaborator, not adversary | Seller considers the reframe without feeling pushed |
| Buyer wants to wait | "I'm not sure this is right for you, but...": permission-based approach | Buyer lowers defenses; agent delivers the insight without pressure |
| Asking for a decision | "On a scale of 1-10...": makes abstract feelings into a number | Client identifies their own gap; agent asks one follow-up question |
| Generating referrals | "Who do you know who...": specific, not generic | Client scans their mental network for real names rather than saying "I'll think of someone" |
Table: How EWTS principles apply across different client situations and what result each produces.
How Do You Start Using EWTS This Week?
You don't need to memorize every phrase in the book before you start. Pick one phrase and use it in every relevant conversation for five business days. The one I recommend starting with:
"Just out of curiosity..." Use it before any question that might feel intrusive or direct.
"Just out of curiosity, what would have to happen for you to feel confident about this decision?" That single phrase has opened more stalled conversations for my clients than anything else I've taught.
After five days, add a second phrase. Build the habit before adding the volume. The agents who try to implement ten phrases at once implement zero of them consistently.
If you're already working on understanding why clients stall, EWTS is the language layer that completes the picture. The stall analysis tells you what's happening. EWTS gives you the words to respond to it.
Is EWTS Worth Reading, or Is This Post Enough?
Read the book. It's 130 pages and one of the highest-leverage reads in sales. Phil M. Jones has sold over 2 million copies of his "Exactly" book series for a reason: the content is dense, practical, and immediately applicable. This post covers the framework and the most common applications, but the book gives you 50+ phrases with the full context behind each one.
More importantly, reading it once isn't enough. The agents who get the most out of EWTS are the ones who revisit it quarterly and ask: where am I defaulting back to old language? Where am I leaving conversations on the table because I used a phrase that closed a door instead of opening one?
David's Take
I've been Exactly What to Say™ Certified for several years now, and the thing that still surprises me is how often experienced agents resist it at first. They've been in the business for a decade. They've closed hundreds of transactions. The idea that a language framework could change something fundamental feels like an insult to their experience.
But here's what I've observed across 10,000+ coaching hours: the agents with the most experience are often the ones with the most deeply ingrained language habits, and those habits were formed in a different market, with different client expectations. What worked when rates were at 3% and inventory was nonexistent doesn't land the same way in a normalized market where clients have options and time.
The agents who embrace EWTS fastest are usually mid-career (four to eight years in) because they're past the early uncertainty but haven't yet calcified into rigid patterns. They hear a phrase like "Would you be open to..." and immediately think of three conversations where it would have gone differently. That recognition is the value of the framework.
One specific thing I teach in my coaching practice at davidmanzer.com: pair EWTS with your CRM. Every time you use a new phrase and it works (or doesn't), make a note. Language that works for your market, your personality, and your client type is worth tracking. Over six months, you'll build a personal EWTS library that's more useful than anything in the book, because it's yours.
The framework is the starting point, not the destination.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is Exactly What to Say™ and is it specific to real estate?
Exactly What to Say™ is a sales language framework created by Phil M. Jones that teaches specific phrase patterns to lower resistance, surface objections, and guide decisions without pressure. It was written for any sales context, but its principles apply directly to real estate, from buyer consultations to listing appointments to referral conversations. I became an Exactly What to Say™ Certified Guide specifically to help agents apply it in the context of their daily client conversations.
How is EWTS different from a sales script?
Scripts are fixed responses to expected situations. They break down when conversations go off-script, which they always do. EWTS teaches language patterns built on how the human brain makes decisions, so they work across a wide range of situations, not just the ones you prepared for. The goal is to understand why certain phrases work, not just memorize what to say when.
Which EWTS phrase should real estate agents start with?
"Just out of curiosity..." is the highest-leverage starting phrase for most agents because it works in any situation where you need to ask a probing question without triggering defensiveness. Use it before any question that might feel direct or intrusive ("Just out of curiosity, what would need to happen for you to feel ready to move forward?") and watch how differently clients respond.
Do I need to read the book, or is applying a few phrases enough?
A few well-practiced phrases will produce real results immediately, and that's worth starting with. But reading the book gives you the reasoning behind each phrase, which makes you a better practitioner. You'll stop guessing which phrase fits a situation and start recognizing the pattern at work. At 130 pages, it's one of the fastest-returning investments in your business library.
Your Language Is a Skill. Treat It Like One.
After 10,000+ coaching hours, the pattern is clear: the agents who struggle aren't lacking talent. They're lacking structure. And nowhere is that more visible than in the language they use when a conversation gets difficult. One conversation, one session to audit your language and build a practice around what actually works, can change that.
About the Author
David Manzer is a Real Estate Industry Business Coach with 30+ years in the industry and 10,000+ coaching hours serving agents and mortgage professionals across Orange County and Los Angeles, California. CSI Designated Coach | Tom Ferry Ecosystem | Exactly What to Say™ Certified. Book a Free Strategy Session.